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entries

09/07/25 where im at rn
If it weren't for the dire state of American political affairs I'd say it's been a very good year. I just celebrated my one year anniversary with my wonderful best friend and partner, I've been going to therapy and unpacking some chronic shame, I've started taking Adderall, and generally doing all I can to offer myself happiness and stability. It's crazy to see how much energy I have for life right now, so much so that I'm almost overwhelmed by possibility. It's like some of the weight's been lifted and I want to do it all. I'm trying to set realistic goals, one of which is maintaining an online presense and sharing myself and my work more freely (without totally freaking out). Consitstency has always been the hardest thing for me, but I've learned one of my most valuable skills I've had to develop over the years is the ability to pick myself back up and start again.


10/09/25 things i'm working on
I've been working to get my commissions and art streams organized and ready for the rest of the year. The plan is to start maybe in November, I'm a little nervous to make a big deal of it though. I've streamed in the past and while I've enjoyed it I was never consistent enough to keep it going. It would be a nice way to interact with the art community more and give me things to post on tiktok, but it also feels like another iron in the fire. I have too many irons in this fire!! I'm really excited about having the motivation to work on everything I want to but now I have to CHOOSE what to work on. Organizing on Notion has been a blessing but I'm also so into managing my Notion pages that that's it's own separate hobby lol.
So right now the things I want to accomplish or work on in the next few months are as follows...

phew, that was a lot! it's nice to have it all dumped out here. i feel like im catching up on a decade of fighting my brain now that i'm medicated. it's a good overwhelm though!

TLDR...


10/24/25 travelling and concerts!
I'M SO EXCITED! I'm going on my first big trip with my partner tomorrow morning, from the PNW alll the way to St. Louis. We're seeing Ludo, a geeky alt. rock band that we've both loved since our middle school days, they were actually the first concert either of us had ever gone to back in the day when they were still touring. I'm really grateful that I get to go as an adult with adult money and adult freedom with my absolute favorite person on Earth. It's going to be a very festive trip, not only is the band very ghoulish and Halloween centered, but we'll be going to a haunted house the first night. Maybe peruse some museums and gay bars, both of which will be similarly themed for my very favorite holiday. I only wish we were staying longer...
To prepare I DIY'd a shirt with a line from one of my favorite songs on their album "The Horror of Our Love" which is honestly very me and my girlfriend coded. I would crawl into her ribcage if I could 100%. Can't wait to build an outit around it, I'm thinking vampy makeup and a black/red/white scheme. I love to dress for an event!!